run your own race...

read this in the 'Monk who sold..'....yeah im reading it only now becos im not a self help book person at all...but there are so many interesting things about this book...talks about how to run your own race and not be bothered about what other people are saying as long as in your head it feels right.... and about enjoying the simple things in life...
i know its all easier said then done, but if theres anything that gives me a sense of peace...no matter how temporary, im willing to try....

a slow road to nowhere spectacular....

i notice my chief vice is whine and my whine is work... tongue twisters apart, why is it that no one actually lets you in on the whole work-world when you are little...will help you to bear the self doubt and ego crushing so much better... the scales all of a sudden fall from your eyes and you see the briefcase as a tool to tie you down, your phone/mail as the most dreaded accountability meter and of course the boss for who he really is....

need a life..need a life...

ok just in the middle of the week but i alredy hate my life and want a break

alice in wanderland.....

dying to travel but where to go? or rather how to go is my problem... i want to go to Bhutan but all the ppls i was orginally supposed to go with have dropped out...and i dont think its too safe to go by myself...
speaking of which i thought i would give myself a 2week backpacking trip to Europe as a 26th b'day present...yeah, i know...too expensive. plus i suddenly started freaking out about the whole being on my own thing. i mean im a loner and all but the thought of havng no one to talk to for 2weeks kinda didnt appeal to me... and im not exactly the kind of person who can strike up a conversation with strangers just like that.... so well that fell through...
now im planning goa again for my b'day (its a midlife crisis thing!!)...again lots of ppls droppng out n stuff...lets see, thats one trip i can make on my own...
the travel bug is biting hard and im itching all over....

a project-in-process

thats me! its funny how the very things I used to think were sooo cool till like a while ago, I hate. No, its not the teeny bopper come of age thing that everyone goes through I'm talking about...I'm talking a couple of months ago...and its happening with a lot of things...
for ex, ppl who knew me a yr ago wouldnt recognise the 'far from the marrying crowd' attitude I have now...no siree not for me is the reply when anyone asks me if I'm gonna get married....
or for that matter, wanting to live on my own and have my own 'space'.... I used to be quiet the 'wall' as far relationships went....and was all about givng ppl space.... to the extent I was contemplating getting my own place, in Bangalore (!!!!) so I didnt have to contend with parents/whoeverelse and could have well, space! The lines are completely blurred now....
something in me seems to have let go of the rigidity and discipline I used to have earlier...and its not always a good thing....

school of hard knocks...

or life if you prefer the short and easy. why is everything to be learned from experience? and why is experience always, always tough. there are no soft landings in life i've discovered.
be it coming to the conclusion that work sucks, that bosses are mean and will only remember the mistakes you've made or that its such hard work just having to wake up every morning being positive (I think its a quarter life crisis)...god! everything has to be learned the hard way.....
funny i dont remember life being such an up hill task when I was a kid. or maybe my brain wasnt fully developed enough to comprehend such complexities.

a garden of sunshine and a scardey cat

just finished reading haroun and the sea of stories by salman rushdie and i loved it! something about kiddie stories that makes you smile. had heard quiet a bit about the book and frankly expected something else like talking rabbits or something but loved the book nevertheless....
and in a similar impulse buy i also managed to get a illustrated version of the wizard of oz which has the cutest drawing of the timid lion on the cover. also have a slim book called a garden of verse by robert louis stevenson which has some of the most lovable poems. harshvanshraj bachchan...amitabh's dad... also writes or has written some stuff for children..heard it once somewhre and loved it. havent had too much sucess sourcing it on the net though.....

random.....

is it easy to kill oneself? just be over and done wth the whole living thing? and how do u know ur ready for it? are u ready only if u dont think abt the ppl ur leaving behnd or r u ready when its the only thing on ur mind day in and day out?

sultans of swing....

have the sultans of swing running in my head...its the sexiest song and is the top of my love list at the moment....a while ago I was crazy about smooth operator and before that rush by paula abdul...something about a powerful womans voice singing a love song... even a man singing about love although I tend to be very sceptical about a man expressing softer feelings.... who can dismiss the power of James Blunt's voice singing ur beautiful?.....
then again, I would so hate to have a man play or sing me a romantic song when he is wooing me...I'm so not romantic that way...wonder why my favourite songs are all romantic songs then....
I'm sitting here thinking about love songs while I wait for someone to clear my script so I can get on with my life...which constitutes going home and crashing out like a baby.....