here we go then...

so about this guy (see post below)....he was the typical "i've got silicon valley written all over me, so stand in awe of me mere mortal. also i am wanting early marriage" type....

after much persuasion and tears, i finally agree to meet the guy... and since i have only promised to meet him and have not said anything about being nice, i decide not to waste time... below are some snatches of conversation from that evening....yes, i'm usually this difficult....

him: so how angry do you get...
me: (silent- i have no clue what he expects me to say)
him: what do you do when you get angry...do u break plates or something....
me: (still silent)
his mother: he is waiting for you to say you don't get angry....
me: (more silence)
him: what makes you angry...
me: people asking me a lot of questions....

him: you cook
me: yeah, maggie...sometimes.....

him: you have passport?
me: (i wish i had thought of something smart to say) yeah...
him: but you have never been abroad??????????????????????????
me: (still wishing i had something smart to say) no...

him: you have any questions for me?
me: no. i dont do this too often...

a bit after this i think they got up and left... i dont remember..i had gone back to reading my book.....

look at what the cat dragged in....

take a quick look around....chances are that nearly 25% of all matrimonial ads on the internet/ newspapers are mine....my parents are doing it with such passion i feel its a sin to stop them.... also the fact that they think i don't know makes it even tougher to confront them....
caught one of the 'ads' that my dad had left carelessly on the laptop...i don't remember the exact words but it was on the lines of "fair, simple, homely(!!?)"...you know the kinds that would make me turn in my grave if i were dead....
i kinda don't fault them though....what do they do..."5ft nothing, brown skinned, introvert, loves dancing and body piercings" won't exactly bring home the harvest....
i am just v averse to this whole 'match making process'.....speaking of which, i have to tell you about this specimen who actually turned up to 'see' me....but that will be a new post in itself....

deadly poets society....

its one of those days where i want to jump around and do the birdie dance but since i cant im going to spend all my pent up energy trying to rhyme very badly....

i want to go on a holiday, its as simple as that
just me and myself
no ifs, no buts

nothing fancy...i'll settle for very less
someplace i can read my book
and be at one with my nothingness

a few places i could see
some music maybe.....

when this will be...i dont know...
sitting at my desk
is turning out to be such a bore!

ode....

this post is one year and about a month too old....but i simply had to put it down in words...and if you see a steve martin starrer on these lines, remember you heard it here first ....

ganesh chaturthi last year...it's around 8:45 by the time i finish at work....traffic is insane...barely 15mins after i leave office, my car stops....i'm out of fuel....bang at the entrance to the busiest flyover this side of town...right outside a used car showroom next to a mosque...exasperated cops help me push car to the side of the road....i try getting an auto to the petrol bunk with no luck....i dont want the used car salesman to mistake my car for one of his own.......
i realise i have 10bucks in my wallet....yeah, its becoming 'one of those days'....i walk upto the ATM, manage to get an auto and its smooth sailing till the petrol bunk...
but its not to be...i have no bottle to get the petrol in..and the petrol guys are not willing to part with one for love or money...seeing that i'm ready to cry at this point, the kind hearted auto driver (may his tribe increase) empties out his 1.5ltr Pepsi waterbottle and gives it to me...he drops me back halfway, i pay him twice the fare and am back in my car...
By now ofcourse, the ganesha procession is well under way....traffic is at a standstill... its around 10:30, i'm stuck outside the mosque and praying really hard there's no communal riot...
i must have been the only woman there because the revellers tried very enthusiastically to engage me for a bit....
i got home half an hour later...with just enough energy to mumble "crazy day" and crawl into bed.....

Human Nature....

that is one of the sexiest instrumental pieces i have ever heard...by miles davis....the real thing is anything but...and i seem to have gotten the worst of it this week...

monday: editor eggs me on to make a bad decision. when the thing blows up in my face, he pretends like he had nothing to do with it
tuesday: spineless senior who started the whole thing in the first place doesn't back me up...and he doesn't do it in my face either....i find out about him doing it behind-my-back...grrr
wednesday: anchor gets on air info wrong....gets angry mail from viewer....and i get mail from him saying we (????) should let it go this time.... what the.....

sigh sigh sigh...its a friday...i'm doubting v much if i want to come back monday

the 'afterwards'...

so i'm having verbal diarrhoea but then again i hate disappointing people....
just reading this commentary by an author on how he battled with whether or not to include a steamy sex scence in his second novel....and after much thought decided to settle with ..'afterwards'... you know "she entered the room hesitantly and afterwards they lack back contended" types....
i wish more movies/ serials would use this method... consider this scene...i'm watching T.V. even something as 'safe' as Friends....and the min my mom/dad walks past, they make out like its going out of style... i'm not kidding you....it happens every single time....
they could be in the middle of the freaking war zone in afghanistan, all battered and bruised holding body parts in their hands, but the min parents walk into room, they are going at it hammer and tongs... v v avoidable....

the commentary also had some of the entries for the Bad Sex Awards... most are not worth putting up here but this one is a laugh riot....
"she's taking off her blouse. it's on the floor. her breasts are placards for the endomorphically endowed. inspite of yourself, a soft whistle of air escapes you"....
....

men and other miscellaneous irritants....

so i wrote those big words fully aware of the fact that i could get those spellings wrong but hey im digressing....
how do you react to a msg whch says 'much success' after you have poured your heart out?.... so it happens like this...i meet nice burnedoutbanker turned planter boy on shoot....and thanks to sheer effort that we have spent 9hrs in his jeep in close proximity we chat....he seems interesting enough for me to contemplate holiday at his resort and i even progress to the point where i conned my friends into agreeing to go with me...i find out he is not boy but 40yr old man....i begin to have my doubts but voices shout down my concerns to not overthink as usual and ruin whatever this could be as usual....
and then in the middle of an sms-athon where i am pouring my heart out on finding my mr.sometimesright, i get well ...'wish you much success'..... grrr...
and you guess right...we haven't spoken since...what??... how was i supposed to respond to that...

crawling back into my skin...

well i basically crawled out of my skin in the first place since my boss was in town...THE Big Boss who has just had a baby... and she is cranky as hell in the first place...so i ensured i was super busy yesterday...had 2 stories...almost lined up a third but resisted the urge to over do it....and after all that, she didn't even come to office.....
today's the day to breathe easy...some villagers decided to burn 2 people alive all night so i dont dare ask for a camera....so i sit here and keep myself pretty....and yeah expect some more posts today.....

oh for the love of god.....

heard this song on the radio this morning by savage garden which was like a letter to god in the first person.... so i was a little offended by the words but then again i guess religion is such a strong personal subject, its tough to please any one person...
which is why everyone has to have an opinion on it..and ridicule Him just to prove how non conformist they are....here's a thought...if they are that non conformist after all, why not prove their love for God...and not necessarily the other way around...
i remember reading about this art student, for instance, who had painted some 'objectionable' paintings ... well, when i read that he what he had painted... i was well...upset.... or this piece i read by Woody Allen where he outright ridicules Jesus Christ... i mean i know he's Jewish but hey i didn't really appreciate that piece and it stuck in my head....
there's such a fine line between artistic creativity and well crossing the line, it often blurs...and while im not the sort who would go out onto the street waving a banner because someone tarnished the name of my Lord, it still upsets me.....
that said though, i can appreciate humour...to some extent....like this classic comic strip i have up on my desk by johnny hart....love this guy's sense of humour by the way...it goes like this....

When Mary had a little lamb,
Poor Joseph was shocked and awed,
His only option,
It seemed was adoption,
So he adopted the Lamb of God....

my brother on the other hand was deeply offended....

religion is the opium of the masses.....

a tinny piano plays on in the background....

maybe there's a silver lining to my bouts of depression....almost all the authors or poets whose work i love seem to have one thing in common....loneliness and depression... i understand about being sad...which is v necessary to really understand life and live it not just skim the surface.... but what is it about depression and creativity.....
so don't know if it is good news or bad...after all i have the depression without the piano playing in the background for inspiration or New York around me.....

"My dear old fish" said Mr Wonka, "go and boil your head"...

got myself some books yesterday...ok there's 'Charlie and the chocolate factory'....i died laughing...the title of the post is from there...finished that one last night...then finished 'Death of a salesman' this afternoon...cried a bit...in some weird way connected with it....have started on 'A streetcar called desire'....and i intend to finish the fourth one....Complete prose by Woody Allen before i go back to work on mon... yeah i'm having a v literary weekend and loving it....

horray, horray, its a hol-holi-day....

umm...my second post today...fairly light day and im in no mood to particularly change that....we are coming up on a holiday tomo and im feeling v rested already....its funny how festivals are increasingly becoming more of a public nuisance than anything else....huge cut outs of st. mary and ganesha have been put up on my road...which is already v badly chocked...and tomo they are going to have 'arkestra' in the middle of the freaking road.... with loud filmy music, drunk men dancing on the streets and me gently stewing in the car stuck in a traffic jam that will last only about 2hrs when it normally takes me about 15min to reach home... so i shall just sit at home, put my feet up and shut out the world....

well Jesus you know....

if you're looking below,
its worse now than then....

snatches of a song i grew up knowing......so true of what is happening today....everytime someone says oh but you know India's shining, i feel like clobberring them on the head....yes, i'm of a violent nature but hey that is nothing compared to what i'm seeing around me....just look at the news....10 people accused of stealing clothes beaten to death yesterday, 3 teenagers have their eyes pierced because they stole a motorcycle, a woman branded with a hot iron yesterday because she was a lower caste woman lodging a case against a upper class person, a man dragged by a cop on his motorcycle --his crime: stealing a chain.... what is happening...it sickens me everytime i watch the news.....
why are we as indians so disinclined to order and discipline of any form....
why this apathy, this "i dont care a fucking damn but thats only because i dont know better".... and of course i have to have my 2-bit sarcastic line about the higgedly piggedly nature of our lives...if there's a shortcut we indians have either discovered it or copied it already....

sunshine through my window...

just back from the awesomest trip to chickmanglur... i know, i know...i might as well just get a house there considering how often i have been there of late...i used to see some of the great destinations on travel and living and wonder at the beauty of nature...but being to chickmanglur and coorg so many times has opened up my eyes....i dont have to save up for a holiday i will never be able to afford to europe...i can just hire a cab and take off....and theres everything here....terrific weather (either over-cast or just clearing up after a shower), great scenery (rolling hills, green as far as you can see, clouds barely kissing the top of mountains) and of course quiet....none of the vehicular noise and grime of big city life.....
and after 2days of being on the road, walking through fields and having no time to eat, i got a surprise compliment from my brother when i came back...."your skin is actually glowing, wots up"....i said a silent thanks to my hills....