a curious state of non being...

so this is it then...my last day here and i feel curiously unaffected. dont know if this is good considering i have always felt nauseating fear at the start of anything new-first day at college, first day with my theatre group even....

i'm looking forward to this i guess in some sense...and not too. what if i'm no good at my new job? but then again i was getting too comfy here in any case and the time to try something new is now i guess... i know these arguments like the back of my hand now considering i have been going over and over it for a while ....a month precisely....no one else seems to want to hear it...they just think i'm mad mad mad doing this....it feels a little like i'm selling my soul, my freedom....or maybe i'm being just too fucking dramatic as usual. whatever.

badly paraphrasing here from Zadie Smith but I think this best describes my mood now: The future is a whole new country and I don't know if I still have a valid visa......

goodbye journalism, hello corporate world!