stand at the door of what was 'ere before...

that is a line from a poem by Edna St.Vincent Millay talking about how she yearns for her childhood..standing at the door and looking back at what was knowing she will never be able to go back... well I'm not sure of the exact words but the thought stayed with me and I'm thinking of it so so much as I feel old at 25...
so many things lost. Innocence. and I'm not being dramatic when I say that... so many things like who said what and how it was said and who didn't tell me what just didn't matter to me earlier. It suddenly occupies a large portion of the inside of my head....Peace. Maybe its the job I do maybe the stress is natural for a matureworkingadult but I cant remember a day when I'm not hyperventilating, irratated or impatient. Conviction. There maybe a God in heaven but everything is NOT alright with the world and doubt if I even believe it ever will be.....
just a couple of things I wish were still in me...
is it already another weekend? time for me to start making my plans for Monday Morning and trying to sleep just a little bit longer on saturday...